Our relationship with God had been marred. Yeshua came on behalf of God to repair and restore that relationship. He took the initiative to redeem us and salvage something good out of our lives.

Luke 19:10:
"The Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost." Repairing our relationship with God and redeeming the value of our lives is part and parcel of the same mission, since our value is tied up with our relationship with God. Yeshua gave us the "seek and save" model of relationships. As believers in Yeshua, we have a parallel mission in our relationships with others. We are to extend his work of seeking out other people and redeeming their worth by a restorative relationship with us. We are His representatives.

In other words we are to seek out people and bring out the good in them. Of course this "seek and save" model is appropriate for evangelism, but in this article I want to emphasize its approach in dealing with close friends and family members.

1. Seek Out
Yeshua took the initiative in seeking us out when He descended from heaven. We in turn must take the initiative when there are personal or relational problems with those close to us. We must seek out opportunities to spend time with them. We must seek out a friend or loved one with the purpose to bring out the good in them and to redeem God's purpose in their lives.

2. Spend Time
There can be no redemptive relationship without investing time. Our lives are basically one long opportunity to invest in others. Yeshua came to earth and lived here. He spent time among us. He invited His disciples to live with Him. We can't just force opportunities to take place. We must be available for the time that our loved one desires to talk. We must be around when the questions arise.

3. Listen (with Discernment)
We must not be too quick to present answers before we have really heard the person. The solution is not in simply applying principles and programs. Each person has the mystery of faith within them. We are looking for an invisible reaction between them and God, rather than looking for them to do what we say. We must listen for spiritual discernment as to how God is dealing with them. It is primarily an independent reaction between them and God, rather than between them and us. We need to understand them. We need to have faith in the supernatural process of God taking place in their life.

4. Ask and Offer
Before offering advice, we should ask for access. A question such as, "What can I do for you?" or "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "How can I pray for you on this matter?" might be appropriate. They are the captain of their own life, not you. Yeshua even asked blind Bartimaeus, "What do you want Me to do for you? Luke 18:41)" Even though the question might seem obvious to you, the idea is to let the solution spring out of the heart of the other person. We are both respecting their authority over their own lives, as well as coaching them into coming up with the solution on their own.

5. Lift Up and Build Up
We are always looking to edify the other person. The goal is to help that person come into his or her destiny, not to show them how much we know. We can build the person up by speaking words of encouragement. We can lift the person up by serving them in a practical chore or duty. Sometimes we speak words of strong correction, but it must be done in a tone of love, where the person is fully convinced of your intention to help him.

6. Radiate God's Love
People were healed just by touching Yeshua's garments. In the midst of revival, the sick were healed as Peter's shadow passed by them. We need to pray enough for the individual, that when we are with them, the spiritual presence of God flows out from us. We must radiate acceptance, not criticism. This is something deeper than words. It is a heart attitude. A gentle touch on the hand can transmit inner healing. We have an unspoken power within us that is bathing them with faith.

7. See Them in Victory
Part of faith is to see what is not seen. We must see the potential in the other person coming to fruition. We see them as healed and holy, as joyful and free, as fulfilling their destiny in God. We see them with the eye of faith breaking through into new dimensions of spiritual and moral victory.

This is the eye of God.

Hebrews 12:2: "Looking unto Yeshua, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame...."

In our redeeming relationships with others, we absorb their hurts and problems. They react against us at the very time we are to be the instruments of God's healing in their lives. In this way we follow Yeshua's example on the cross. Their negative reactions to us, when it is accompanied by a faith-forgiveness response on our part, is part of the healing process.

We are bringing the gospel into their lives by a living example. The joy that we envision is our relationship with them after they are set free and redeemed. We will have the joy of seeing someone we love fulfilling their destiny before God. Their joy will be our joy. It is worth the pain.